breathe in the night,
watch the stars and brood silently
"What is my purpose ?"
It is true that I have been born,
that I exist, But why was I made?
Life is truth, death is truth,
I am truth, You are truth.
The silence of reality suffocates me.
Questions that reach up to my soul,
especially since it has no answer,
is hurting and causes bleeding.
The silence is my saviour,
Silence of sound, and of thoughts even,
I survive by not confronting the questions,
by answering with silence in thought.
My soul mate!
What I wanted was another human being,
That sits next to me,
And joins me in my silent brooding of the stars,
Not one who keeps nagging and bickering,
Never one who shouts at me for being me.
I dunno the meaning of life.
But I have my own rules for living that life.
Rule one is "never do anything for others to see".
My life is not a reality show.
Rule two is "to serve no master".
Be it money or power or lust or other humans.
The mundane job is slavery
And for me slavery is death!
Fitting into expectations
Is like a leg fitting into a shoe.
My life is not a leg to meet your norms.
Society is judgmental, about all it couldn't achieve.
You hate in me, all that you couldn't be!
Yet it is my mundane job,
and my bickering wife,
and meeting societal expectations,
That saves me from the existential angst.
You are my salvation!
